sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Randomize
