So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize