I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Randomize
