I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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