Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
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