A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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