She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
