you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
She told me I should be a condom model.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize
