I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize