fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Non-Jews are for practice
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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