So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Randomize