i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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