Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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