You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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