I'm drive I can fine osifer
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
