There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
