ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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