I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Randomize
