The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
