I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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