I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
organizing the empties. That sober.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
