Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
The beer is more important than you right now.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
