I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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