I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
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