You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
