I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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