Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Your dad touched me again.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
