Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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