you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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