im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
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