70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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