Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
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