dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
