i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
