Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
