remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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