I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize