There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
