VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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