Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
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