Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
We are all done wearing pants today
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize