At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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