But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
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