brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
