Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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