I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
