When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
