If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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