Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Randomize
