all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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