Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
