I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize