thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize