My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
