What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
