Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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