i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
