just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
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