I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I just want to make out with him forever
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
