so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
