I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
