I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
