What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
