so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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