I'm going to jail i love you
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Randomize
