ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
