I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
