I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
