Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize