question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
