I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize