Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
