do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
