Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
where does the pee come out of this thing
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
