i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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