Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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