Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
