you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
