Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize